99 simple ways to gain respect

Here are 99 simple reminders to make sure you're on the right path.

1. Give more than you get. Give respect to get respect.

2. Respect yourself. Respect comes first from within.

3. Offer respect. Respect those around you.

4. Maintain your integrity. It's the cornerstone of earned respect.

5. Keep your promises. We don't respect anyone for making a promise, only for keeping it.

6. Add value. The more you focus on adding value for others, the more respect you will get.

7. Learn to spell Respect:

Remember basic kindness.
Encourage others.
Stand firm in your convictions.
Play fair and smart.
Extend a helping hand.
Cause no harm.
Think before you speak.

8. Find people doing the right thing. People will respect you for acknowledging them.

9. Avoid the temptation to share everything in your head. No one needs to know everything you're thinking. Get respect by keeping it simple.

10. Be respectful of the feelings of others. They're just as important as yours.

11. Hold to the truth. Express yourself with honesty.

12. Invest in what matters. Place your time and energy with the things that are important to you.

13. Go outside your comfort zone. People respect those who take chances, take risks, and seek challenges.

14. Suspend judgment. Even though people will judge you, do everything you can to avoid making quick judgments about them.

15. Live your values. Don't just talk about your values; let them show in your actions.

16. Be authentic. Live your life on your terms and live it bravely.

17. Express appreciation. The most respected people genuinely express appreciation in terms that are specific and positive.

18. Be honest but tactful. Better to be honest than be impressive.

19. Stay positive. People respect positivity.

20. Fight the good fight on the critical issues. Respect is accorded to those who know which battles are worth engaging in.

21. Be curious. Ask open-ended questions and listen.

22. Go the extra mile. And take others with you. Exceed all expectations.

23. Forge partnerships. Surround yourself with people who have qualities you admire.

24. Know your priorities. Identify the most important things in your life so you can make them top priority.

25. Lean in to your likability. Whatever your position, you can be collegial and kind and connected with those around you.

26. Have a good memory. It's a big deal to people when you ask them about important events in their lives.

27. Delegate as much as possible. Allow others to show off their strength and respect them for it; in turn they will respect you.

28. Be inspiring. The ones who gain the most respect are usually the ones who inspire others to do great things.

29. Always be on time. It shows respect for others.

30. Think ahead. Be mindful of others and help them come with solutions and strategies that work for them.

31. Speak your mind. Strong opinions and lots of ideas gain respect. Just don't be obnoxious about it.

32. Be prepared. Show respect by knowing what to expect with each interaction, meeting, or conversation.

33. Don't be afraid to ask how you can help. Don't shy away from people who are struggling. Even if they decline your offer, they will remember it.

34. Own it. Have strengths without boasting; and own it by sharing it.

35. Play to your strengths. When you do the things you are good at, you earn the respect of others.

36. Acknowledge the dignity of others. This simple attitude is worth everything.

37. Apologize. When you are wrong, simply say you are sorry.

38. Say what you mean and mean what you say. People learn to trust and believe in what you say through your consistency.

39. Share your assets. What skills represent your greatest strengths? How can you share them with others?

40. Trust your gut. Knowing when something doesn't feel right is important.

41. Don't sweat the small stuff. And remember, it is all small stuff.

42. Learn to say no. Respect is cultivated when you can say no and back it up with rational and legitimate reasons.

43. Live by a moral code. Figure out what you stand for and share it with the world in small acts of kindness and integrity.

44. Never miss a deadline. The best form of respect is to get things done well and on time.

45. Respect those who are hard to respect. Behavior is not always worthy of respect, but the person is.

46. Hear different perspectives. Be considerate of other people's viewpoints, and recognize that every opinion is valuable.

47. Be willing to compromise. Work with others to reach a solution is acceptable for everyone.

48. Don't kiss and tell. Sometimes, it's not what you say that matters; it's what you don't say.

49. Pick your battles. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do to keep the peace.

50. Take the high road. Set high standards for yourself, and do everything you can to meet them every day.

51. Practice authentic listening. When you listen, you show that you care.

52. Never waste anyone's time. Respect the value of other people's time.

53. Take responsibility. Own your actions, personally and professionally, at all times.

54. Dress the part. People make impressions in the few seconds. Dress for respect.

55. Know your triggers. Become mindful of what pushes your buttons and don't allow yourself to get carried away.

56. Excellence matters. Respect comes from setting high standards and working hard every day on meeting them with excellence.

57. Carry a smile. A confident smile is almost never out of place.

58. Trust and be trusted. Behave in a way that generates trust and builds confidence, which in turn gets you respect you deserve.

59. Be a connector. Bring people together who will find each other valuable and helpful.

60. Maintain equanimity. Keep it simple and remain true to who you are.

61. Watch your body language. Make sure it is congruent with the words you are speaking.

62. Mind your manners. Good manners open many doors.

63. Make time. We respect people who make time from their busy schedule to show us they care.

64. Remember feelings matter. Be mindful of other people's feelings--it may mean everything to them.

65. Learn from others. Acknowledge how much you don't know.

66. Don't try to be all things to all people. Sometimes we get caught up in pleasing everyone and we end up pleasing no one.

67. Treat others as you'd want to be treated. It's called the golden rule for a reason.

68. Listen to learn. Give people a chance to speak. Be a listen-to-it-all, not a know-it-all.

69. Know your boundaries. Set them clearly and stick to them.

70. Keep it simple. Take what is complicated and make it simple.

71. Capitalize on feedback. When given well, it motivates and inspires.

72. Devote time each day to reading. The more you know, the more you can do.

73. Generously share your connections. The benefits return to you greatly.

74. Never gossip. As the saying goes, great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about other people.

75. Get to know others. Developing close relationships, working to know more about others, shows that you're worthy of respect.

76. Remember people's names. And give them a reason to remember yours.

77. Be inquisitive. The more that you ask, the more you can learn.

78. Choose carefully whom you spend your time with. Do they elevate and challenge you?

79. Honor humility. True respect comes from the humility of knowing that every person you meet can teach you something.

80. Avoid contradictions. Remember that whatever you say, you must do also.

81. Be stubborn when it matters. People respect those who stick to their guns when it's called for.

82. Be fluent and firm. If you can be expressive, concise, and firm in what you say, it leaves no room for misunderstandings.

83. Have a sense of humor. Find the funny side of life; it will serve you well in almost every situation.

84. Focus on quality, not quantity. Make what you do count by giving of yourself to the people or causes that are most important to you.

85. Perform small acts of kindness. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, and a kind word or a listening ear. A small act has the potential to turn a life around.

86. When you say no, mean it. Show respect for yourself and be consistent with everything you say and do.

87. Be a mentor. Find someone you can help and make yourself available to mentor them.

88. Express your love. Respect is one of the most meaningful expressions of love. Express yourself often.

89. Always acknowledge when someone does you a favor. A simple handwritten note or a small token of appreciation can make a big difference.

90. Consistently expand your network. Work on creating an inner circle of people that you resonate with and learn from.

91. Be your own coach. If you wait until you are ready, you will be waiting for the rest of your life. Take risks and earn respect.

92. Don't be a martyr. Don't do anything that does not feel good or sound good; remember, respect is earned by authenticity.

93. Keep the naysayers in your life away from your dreams. You may even want to exclude negative people from your life completely.

94. Identify the yes-sayers in your life and keep them close. Rely on the people who believe in you and are unafraid to tell you the truth.

95. Always say please and thank you. Graciousness and good manners put people at ease.

96. Make a list of the things you can't live with and the things you can't live without. Keep the list focused on the essentials and review it often.

97. Count your blessings. Celebrate accomplishments and be grateful for all that you have.

98. Be who you are behind closed doors. A measure of who you are is exposed when no one is watching.

99. Be fully present each moment. If you stay present completely to the moments as they pass, you live them more richly.

63 ways to build self-confidence

1. Learning is a Good Thing, so sign up for that evening class and enjoy it.
2. Get out of your own head by asking your partner or best friend what you can do for them today.
3. Hit the gym.  The physiological effects will leave you feeling great.
4. Go to a networking event and focus on how you can be helpful to other people rather than being nervous about your own stuff.
5. Get crystal clear on the things that truly matter to you.  If they’re not in your life, you need to bring them in.
6. Write a list of the things you’re tolerating and putting up with in your life, then write down how you can remove, minimise or diminish each one.
7. Look at a great win or success you’ve experienced and give yourself credit for your part in it.  Recognising your achievements is not egotistical, it’s healthy.
8. Next time you’re at a social event, don’t just stick with the people you know – go and have a conversation with someone you don’t know and you never know what – or who – you’ll discover.
9. Next time you talk yourself out of doing something (a party invite, a challenging project or whatever else), say ‘What the Hell’ and go do it anyway.
10. Do one thing each day that makes you smile (on the inside or on the outside).
11. Look for the patterns of thought that take you to a place where you start second-guessing or over-thinking.  Now imagine that your best friend went through exactly the same thought process and ended up holding themselves back – what would you want to say to them?
12. Ask out that girl or guy you fancy the pants off (only if you’re single, don’t want to get you into trouble).
13. You have to keep your mind well fed, so write a list of 20 things that keeps your mind feeling nourished and make sure you’re giving them room in your life.
14. Stop playing different roles and squeezing yourself into boxes based on what you think people expect you to act like.
15. Learn to catch yourself every single time you tell yourself that you can’t have, won’t get or aren’t good enough to get what you want.
16. Take yourself off auto-pilot – make deliberate decisions on what really matters to you.
17. Next time you come up against a risk or a challenge, listen to what you tell yourself and look for a way that that inner dialog can be improved.  Ask yourself, “What would make this easier?”
18. Scared of looking silly? You and everyone else.  It’s no biggie so don’t let it stop you.  Say it with me – “It just doesn’t matter.”
19. Don’t think for a second that you can’t be confident.  There are already loads of things you do with natural self-confidence, you just have to notice them and get familiar with how it feels.  Look for the things you do where the question of whether you’re confident enough never arises.
20. Listen to your doubts but be ready to make deliberate decisions once you’ve heard them.  Sometimes your doubts are there to let you know what you need to prepare for, so you can use them to your benefit as you move forwards.
21. Think of a time when it felt like a whole bank of switches in your head flicked to the on position and you were firing on all cylinders.  What were you doing and what’s the reason it felt so great?
22. You’ve got a whole bunch of out-dated rules that determine what you do, don’t do, should do and shouldn’t do.  These rules limit your thinking and limit your behaviour.  Tear up your rule book and notice how free you are to make great decisions.
23. Do you get annoyed with yourself because you didn’t make the most of something or stepped back form an opportunity?  Don’t beat yourself up because that’s just going to make you feel worse.  Instead, be brutally honest and ask yourself what you gained from the situation and what you lost out on.  Based on this win/lose balance, what’s a different choice you can make next time?
24. If you’d already done everything in life you’d have no need to be scared.  Don’t ever think that being scared means you’re not confident, it simply means you’re going somewhere new.
25. If there’s someone in your life who puts you down or makes you feel small, you owe it to yourself to let them know that you expect something different from now on.  You deserve better.
26. Flirt.  It’s a harmless way to play around with connecting with people and having fun.
27. Reveal a little bit of the real you in a relationship that might feel like it’s in a rut.
28. Acknowledge and welcome all of your experiences – the good stuff as well as the bad stuff.  It’s all equally valid and hiding things away because you don’t like them is just creating conflict.
29. Always recognise that you’re more than a match for any situation you might find yourself in, no matter how tough the going gets.
30. Don’t get swept up in the drama of what’s happening right now, look for more useful ways of engaging with what happens in your life.
31. Don’t automatically give in to the instant pay-off – it often means you’re selling yourself short.
32. When you feel like stamping your foot and yelling “I deserve better than this!”, take a step back and say “I can BE better than this.”
33. Confidence sometimes means admitting you’re wrong – always be ready to hold your hands up and change your mind.
34. Trust your instincts.  They know what they’re talking about.
35. Fear is a way of letting you know that you’re about to stretch yourself and grow your confidence.  That’s a good thing, so use it to take yourself forwards rather than run away.
36. Imagine you’re visited by a successful, confident, attractive and vibrant version of you from the future, a version of you who’s everything you hope to be.  What do they want to tell you?
37. Don’t feel like you have to do everything yourself – sometimes the most confident thing to do is ask for help.
38. Take a chance on something tomorrow.  Anything, big or small, just take a chance.
39. You need to be around people who make you feel like YOU, so spend more time with the people who support and encourage you and less with those who undermine you.
40. Stop struggling against the things you don’t like in your life – create a congruent environment around you that flows and allows you to be you.
41. No man’s an island, and you need to be a part of the world you around to feel confident.  What can you participate in that’s important to you?
42. Forget the pro’s and con’s – do something bold in the face of your challenges and fears.
43. Work on developing the skills you need to win at the things that matter to you.  What can you practice that would radically improve your chances of winning?
44. The body is a mirror for the mind, so shifting your body into a confident state can have surprising results.
45. Don’t get disheartened or demotivated when you get to 90% with something you’re working on – push through and you’ll see that the last 10% is where the magic happens.
46. Keep comparing yourself to others?  Stop it, don’t try to validate yourself through comparison – you’re just peachy as you are.
47. Put your head above the parapet at work and speak up if there’s something you think could be improved or if you have an idea you think has legs.
48. If there’s something you’ve been struggling to understand for a while, stop trying to understand it.  Accept it just as it is, fully and wholly.
49. Shy with new people?  Not a problem, there’s nothing wrong with being shy and it doesn’t mean you’re not confident.  Just don’t overthink it, start beating yourself up or thinking you’re less than because you’re shy – the more you think like that the worse it gets.
50. Your environment directly impacts your self-perception, so if you’re surrounded by clutter, paperwork and rubbish put a morning aside to clean up your stuff and get organised.
51. Write yourself a list of the amazing things you’d love to do in your life, and make a start by simply looking into the first one or two things that leap out at you.
52. Don’t make your happiness or self-worth dependent on being in a relationship or being validated by someone else.  Find your inherent value first, and your relationships and confidence will be immeasurably better.
53. Your strengths can be used to overcome any of your weaknesses.  We all have weaknesses but they only undermine your confidence if you let them.
54. The longer you leave that big thing on your to-do list the more it’ll drain you and the bigger it’ll seem – get it done and free yourself up.
55. What golden threads, themes, patterns and passions have always been in your life?  If those things aren’t present in your life right now, you need to shift your priorities.
56. Your body image does matter, because if you have a bad relationship with your body you won’t be feeling confident in yourself.  Get trim if you need to, just make sure you get along with your body.
57. Being confident is an ongoing process.  It isn’t a goal or an end-point that you reach and then stop.  Keep playing to the best of your ability and your confidence will always be there to support you.
58. Try a new path.  The well-trodden paths of your life can easily turn from familiarity to apathy and disconnection.  A new path wakes you up.
59. Don’t say “Yes” to taking on a task simply because you don’t want to rock the boat – you can politely decline requests you can’t meet and don’t need to create an excuse for it.
60. Look at the people you respect who seem confident – don’t copy them, but identify what it is they do differently that conveys confidence and what you can learn from it.
61. Make a plan to do something, then make deliberate choices to follow through.  Seeing progress gives you important self-reinforcement.
62. When you feel yourself focusing inwards and becoming paralysed with doubt or fear, switch to focusing outwards at what you can engage and interact with.
63. Still beating yourself up for failing or screwing up? It might not be a barrel of laughs but it’s not going to help you get through it.  Much better to recognise that everything, whether it turns out or not, is how you practice living a rich life.