The 50 Things You Need To Do For A Relationship To Last

1. Burn your blueprint.

Rid yourself of whatever fantasies you harbor about the bliss of coupled life. They’re not helping. There is no script, so don’t be disappointed when your fairytale gets hijacked.

2. Forgive.

Didn’t Jesus say something about forgiving someone not just seven times but seventy times seven? That would be 490 times….which should last you through your first 6 months. Jesus underestimated because, remember, he wasn’t married.

3. And forget.

If you forgive but don’t forget, did you really forgive? I know people who claim to have forgiven but still use every available opportunity to bring it up. And if you don’t want to forgive, forgetting works just as well.

4. Be a good teammate.

Life can come at you hard. One of the nice things about marriage and relationships is being able to have someone else in the bunker when you’re getting shelled.

5. Grow.

If you still have the same desires, opinions and beliefs at age 50 that you did at age 25, that’s your own damn fault. You will not, and should not, be the same person you were then.

6. And adapt.

Even if you stagnate, the person you’re in a relationship with will change. Don’t fight it. Embrace it, learn from it, be thankful for it.

7. Find your faith.

There is great comfort in believing in something or someone beyond our crude human existence. Explore this belief. Take this journey together.

8. Travel together.

Travel forces couples to rely on one another in unpredictable ways. It will also broaden your worldview and the way you value your relationship.

9. Travel separately.

I want to go to Australia and you want to go to Maine? Cool. Take lots of pictures. See you in a week.

10. Develop your own interests.

It seems counter-intuitive, but you will enhance your relationship when you pursue your separate interests.

11. Cultivate a wide, diverse circle of friends.

One of the greatest joys of living is meeting new people. And many of the people you meet will likely make you appreciate your mate even more.

12. Don’t keep score.

I know a couple who keeps track of the number of times each partner completes a household chore. Don’t do this. It’s exhausting. And childish.

13. Exercise.

You owe it to each other to be in the best physical health possible. The mental side effects from exercise will also be beneficial.

14. Practice self-awareness.

Take frequent looks in the mirror. Reflect on who you are and the contributions you are making to your relationship. Are you being judgmental? Unfair? Harsh? Hypercritical? Defensive?

15. Admit that you’re wrong (even, on occasion, when you aren’t).

This is both the easiest and hardest thing to do on this list. But this simple gesture will pay immeasurable dividends; it will help you grow and it’s just the right thing to do.

16. Celebrate accomplishments big and small.

Whether it’s a promotion at work or the police officer let you off with just a warning, find every occasion possible to toast your good fortune.

17. Surprise one another.

Fill up her car. Let him sleep alone in the bed once in a while. Buy some bacon.

18. It’s the good little things.

Holding the door, suggesting a movie night, paying attention. The reward for these is greater than the sum of the parts.

19. And it’s the bad little things.

Cracking your knuckles, spitting, clearing your throat, picking your nose, chewing ice. These are death by a thousand cuts to your relationship.

20. Cultivate your finer qualities.

When do you ever have an opportunity to really work on qualities that make you a better person? In a strong relationship, you can do it every single day. Qualities like patience, loyalty, compassion, trust.

21. The bathroom is private.

If you think it’s quaint to brush your teeth while I use the toilet, you’ll change your mind about that eventually. Trust me.

22. Talk about sex (but not just right before, during, or right after).

Sex is an important part of any relationship. But for some reason couples don’t want to discuss it unless they are in the throes of passion. Don’t make sex a taboo subject.

23. Encourage each other.

We all have insecurities. Your relationship is one place where you should be completely free to reveal these and your spouse should help you overcome them.

24. It’s okay to have secrets.

Even George Bailey slipped Violet Bick a $20 bill every now and then.

25. Avoid subtext.

This is a cowardly way to communicate. If you have something to say, say it. Don’t hint about it.

26. Put it down.

The toilet seat. Her cell phone. The beat.

27. Pick it up.

Your dirty sock. Your used tissue. The pace.

28. Don’t over-romanticize past (or future) relationships.

You weren’t that great and your ex isn’t that hot.

29. Never use the “s” word.

Don’t call each other “stupid.” That’s just stu…. not wise.

30. Offer solutions, not criticism.

Anyone can criticize. A good teammate (See Rule 4) will offer a way out.

31. Read.

To escape or to expand. Either way, it helps.

32. You are equals.

It doesn’t matter which one of you makes the most money. It doesn’t matter which one of you has the better REO Speedwagon vinyl collection. It doesn’t matter which one of you has the best nickname. It doesn’t even matter which one of you has the coolest food allergy.

33. Compliment each other.

Sincerely and often.

34. Respect each other’s friends.

You know your wife’s loud mouthed, insane friend Cathy who thinks you have weak bullshit and can’t believe you married her BFF? See below.

35. Know when to keep your mouth shut.

No list would be complete without the “Do these jeans make my butt look big?” lesson.

36. Indulge each other’s passions.

Scrapbooking doesn’t count.

37. Lose your arbitrary moral code.

This list alone proves that I am the king of the double standard. When I want to spend money on a new set of golf clubs, it’s a good investment. When my wife wants to spend money on new kitchen countertops, she’s a profligate. It’s not exactly fair.

38. Respect space and time.

Have we not evolved as a species or watched enough Dr. Phil to realize our mate does not want to answer the question “How was your day?” the minute he/she walks in the door?

39. Take pride in your appearance.

Your marriage license doesn’t give you a free pass to always wear sweat pants and T-shirts.

40. Maintain good hygiene.

Could your big toenail puncture a snow tire? Could your breath peel wallpaper? Take care of that, please. I don’t want to have to tell you again.

41. Ask before you throw it away.

Don’t touch that broken, ceramic, animated cactus tequila shot glass holder. I’m serious.

42. Invite his/her family to special gatherings.

At least once. Thankfully, this may be all you need.

43. Speaking of family, everyone gets a holiday card and a birth announcement.

Even your creepy Uncle Steve and their psycho cousin Lisa.

44. Don’t be petty.

So I forgot to stop at the store to get your prescription. Did you have to throw away my ceramic cactus shot glass holder?

45. Be self-sufficient.

Learn to do your own laundry. Know how to cook a meal; how to navigate the grocery store; how to make an online purchase; how to turn off the water to the house; how to erect a Nerf basketball hoop; how to unclog a toilet.

46. Everything is fair game for a joke.

This should be at the heart of everything you do. I have not found a single thing that I have been unable to eventually laugh about. If you know this from the beginning, it makes things a lot more fun.

47. Have good manners.

Don’t yell. Open the door. Help carry the groceries. Cover your cough. Hold your gas.

48. Be responsible with money.

No one lives on love. You need money. If you earned it, you will almost certainly respect it. If you didn’t earn it, you must respect it even more.

49. Remember to say thank you.

Even and especially when things don’t seem like they need to be acknowledged.

50. Adapting beats abandoning.

ISFJ personality characteristics

ISFJ
 

ISFJs are the people-centric doers, using their considerable organizational ability to make sure people are taken care of and protected.

They are extremely conscientious, hardworking, loyal, and dedicated to people, organizations, and groups. Once they are allied to the cause, they take their roles very seriously.

It may be possible to overlook the value of ISFJs, as they are the behind-the-scenes “glue” for organizations and groups.

Unlike ESFJs, who will be more outspoken, ISFJs will work steadily and quietly to ensure all the routine details are taken care of and that people are happy.

ISFJs remember specifics—details, names, faces—and store them in the pristine filing cabinet in their heads. Rarely will they share their own values, preferring to keep their own counsel and make their focus the needs of others.

To others ISFJs appear to be quiet, shy, gentle individuals, but behind the scenes ISFJs are the movers and shakers who keep things going but do not seek the glory.

ISFJs are loyal and devoted to the cause. They have an intense need to belong and will work tirelessly for the cause. They would prefer to remain understated, only needing stroking from those they trust and value.

They will channel their considerable energies into their work, or indeed into anything that has been asked of them.

They have incredibly clear and precise memories and are scarily accurate with facts, figures, names, faces—oh, and any person who has slighted them!

ISFJs gather facts and data and are painstakingly accurate with incredible attention to detail. They are methodical in their approach.

They will tend to be proud of “being good with money. They can accurately recite names, milestones, anniversaries, and birthdays.

Although generally shy and reserved, ISFJs take work—indeed, anything they do—seriously and much prefer it when others do the same.

They are caring, sympathetic, and want to help but do not need the kudos. They may be suspicious of those who try to confer compliments on them, especially in the early stages of a relationship.

Characteristics

• Quiet
• A sympathetic listener
• Dependable
• A real team player

Areas of Growth

• Take more initiative.
• Take care of personal needs.
• Be open to the “big picture.”
• Recognize the value of conflict.

Attitude

The basic attitude of ISFJs is one of fatalism: Things are what they are and little can be done to change them.

It is not uncommon for ISFJs to carry the sins of the world on their shoulders. They easily accept the blame for malfunctions and mistakes.

Energizers

• Organizing facts and details to accomplish a goal
• Reaching closure before moving to a new task
• Clear and stable structures
• Being in control of work schedule

Stressors

• Deadlines
• Being asked to make changes with no rational reason
• Ineffective processes
• Being asked to “wing it”

To function at their best

An orderly work environment with human interaction. Opportunities to respond to the needs of others. Harmonious relationships. Praise and appreciation.

Relationships

Sensitive, kind, and caring—in a very practical way—their at times over-accommodating nature means that ISFJs may be taken advantage of.

It isn’t so much that ISFJs are worried over confrontation; when a value is transgressed, the perpetrator may get an uncharacteristic verbal lashing, surprising those who thought that quiet and shy meant weak and fragile.

Values and feelings are at the heart of who ISFJs are, and they are not to be treated lightly.

It is more about their need to give, support, and care, for that means they may get taken for granted.

ISFJs are deep and caring with strong values, and these will be held privately until they allow people in.

What others will perceive are helpful, supportive, patient, and detailed individuals who are under the radar. ISFJs are sociable but don’t like the spontaneity of crowds.

They are an emotional type, but they may struggle at times to deal with these, as they are so private and reflective.

It may be possible to deeply offend ISFJs and not realize it, so private are they.

ISFJs will initially close down on conflict, as they prefer harmony, and will work hard at creating that.

ISFJs will be superb diffusers of conflict, but they themselves do not enjoy it.

ISFJs are often called “the defenders,” because they will stand up for what is right and the rights of others. While they may shun conflict personally, they will fight for other people.

Naturally more quiet and low-key, ISFJs will be conciliatory and seek consensus, preferring to see good in people. They will look to get to a resolution that makes everyone happy.

Altercations and excess interaction in general suck the energy of ISFJs. They will need some private “me” time to recharge their batteries and build up their energy levels.

ISFJ at work

ISFJs have a combination of strong work ethic and desire to help people.

They move step by step toward an agreed conclusion, preferring order to chaos, and in the absence of a plan will be happy to create one.

ISFJs are hardworking, organized, responsible, like things done properly, and will demonstrate extremely high standards. They prefer clarity. If there is none, they will create it. This means they will expect and set tangible goals that they will work steadily and methodically toward, with no deviation or shortcuts.

They are efficient and reliable, and although they may take time to understand what is required, this is so they grasp all the facts to ensure they are clear and will not get it wrong.

Risk-averse, traditional, factual, and detailed, ISFJs are best suited to more established, stable, and traditional organizations that value hard work, attention to detail, and adherence to known rules and protocols, with a strong people element.

Although quite quiet, ISFJs really do care—seriously care. They will need a more people-centric environment that is team-focused where their efforts, though often understated, are appreciated.

Their traditional nature and desire for clarity and fact means ISFJs will fit best where the norms are clear, the culture is people driven, and where there is a place for everything and everything is in its place.

Deviation from the norm is not for ISFJs. They prefer working with facts, details, and the known, where the product or service is tangible rather than conceptual, and where there are clear lines of responsibility and a planning process.

They do not like to “wing it” or take risks without being in possession of the facts and having thought things through so that they are clear.

They do not like ambiguity or harsh environments, wanting to make sure people are supported.

http://www.16personalities.com/isfj-personality

Owl tattoo idea

Random DIY treatments

1. Budweiser beer conditions the hair
2. Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish
3. Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 minutes
4. Mayonnaise will KILL LICE, it will also condition your hair
5. Elmer's Glue - paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see the dead skin and blackheads if any.
6. Shiny Hair - use brewed Lipton Tea
7. Sunburn - empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water
8. Minor burn - Colgate or Crest toothpaste
9. Burn your tongue? Put sugar on it!
10. Arthritis? WD-40 Spray and rub in, kill insect stings too
11 Bee stings - meat tenderizer
12. Chigger bite - Preparation H
13. Puffy eyes - Preparation H
14. Paper cut - crazy glue or chap stick (glue is used instead of sutures at most hospitals)
15. Stinky feet - Jello
16. Athletes feet - cornstarch
17. Fungus on toenails or fingernails - Vicks vapor rub
18. Kool aid to clean dishwasher pipes. Just put in the detergent section and run a cycle, it will also clean a toilet. (Wow, and we drink this stuff)
19. Kool Aid can be used as a dye in paint also Kool Aid in Dannon plain yogurt as a finger paint, your kids will love it and it won't hurt them if they eat it!
20. Peanut butter - will get scratches out of CD's! Wipe off with a coffee filter paper
21. Sticking bicycle chain - Pam no-stick cooking spray
22. Pam will also remove paint, and grease from your hands! Keep a can in your garage for your hubby
23. Peanut butter will remove ink from the face of dolls
24. When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with corn starch and watch them slide on
25. Heavy dandruff - pour on the vinegar !
26. Body paint - Crisco mixed with food coloring. Heat the Crisco in the microwave, pour in to an empty film container and mix with the food color of your choice!
27 Tie Dye T-shirt - mix a solution of Kool Aid in a container, tie a rubber band around a section of the T-shirt and soak
28. Preserving a newspaper clipping - large bottle of club soda and cup of milk of magnesia , soak for 20 min. and let dry, will last for many years!
29. A Slinky will hold toast and CD's!
30. To keep goggles and glasses from fogging, coat with Colgate toothpaste
31. Wine stains, pour on the Morton salt and watch it absorb into the salt.
32. To remove wax - Take a paper towel and iron it over the wax stain, it will absorb into the towel.
33. Remove labels off glassware etc. rub with Peanut butter!
34. Baked on food - fill container with water, get a Bounce paper softener and the static from the Bounce towel will cause the baked on food to adhere to it. Soak overnight. Also; you can use 2 Efferdent tablets , soak overnight!
35. Crayon on the wall - Colgate toothpaste and brush it!
36.. Dirty grout - Listerine
37. Stains on clothes - Colgate toothpaste
38. Grass stains - Karo Syrup
39. Grease Stains - Coca Cola , it will also remove grease stains from the driveway overnight. We know it will take corrosion from car batteries!
40. Fleas in your carpet? 20 Mule Team Borax- sprinkle and let stand for 24 hours. Maybe this will work if you get them back again.
41. To keep FRESH FLOWERS longer Add a little Clorox , or 2 Bayer aspirin , or just use 7-up instead of water.
42. Gatorade is good for Migraine Headaches (PowerAde won't work)
43. When you go to buy bread in the grocery store, have you ever wondered which is the freshest, so you 'squeeze' for freshness or softness? Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a week? Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Each day has a different color twist tie.
They are:

Monday = Blue,
Tuesday = Green,
Thursday = Red
Friday = White
Saturday = Yellow.

So if today was Thursday, you would want red twist tie; not white which is Fridays (almost a week old)! The colors go alphabetically by color Blue- Green - Red - White - Yellow, Monday through Saturday. Very easy to remember. I thought this was interesting. I looked in the grocery store and the bread wrappers DO have different twist ties, and even the ones with the plastic clips have different colors. You learn something new everyday! Enjoy fresh bread when you buy bread with the right color on the day you are shopping.

Some favorite quotes

“Some birds aren’t meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright.”
—Arnold Bennett, The Shawshank Redemption

“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times. If one only remembers to turn on the light.”

“A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it’s the only weapon we have.”
—Roger Rabbit, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

"The Flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all."
- Mulan

“You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.”
—Eames, Inception

“Some infinities are simply bigger than other infinities.”
—Hazel Grace Lancaster, The Fault In Our Stars

“How wild it was to let it be.” 
—Cheryl, Wild

“I know, it’s almost impossible to succeed, but who cares, really? The answer must be in the attempt.”
—Celine, Before Sunrise

"The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all."
- The Princess Diaries

“Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.”
—Sofia, Vanilla Sky


“Our lives are defined by opportunities. Even the ones we miss.”
—Benjamin Button, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

19 Charts That Will Help You Be An Actual Adult

http://www.buzzfeed.com/annaborges/what-is-adulting?utm_term=.rkBQwPDrY#.usZYJZ09b